Having a bad day? A super bad day? A couple of bad days? If you are feeling anxious, fearful, nervous, disappointed, frustrated, angry, or out of your depth, then read on. In this article I will be sharing a few practical ways you can regroup, resettle and emerge even stronger and wiser than you were before.

I am Creative. I am Resourceful. I am Whole…

Recently, an associate of mine had had several interesting and promising negotiations.  She finally submitted her proposal and quite unexpectedly, the scheduled appointment to ‘sign on the dotted line’ had been postponed… and all kinds of ‘excuses’ and delaying tactics were being proffered by the other party…

Panic. Nerves. Self-doubt and fear well and truly kicked in:

“Have I asked for too much? Maybe they’ve changed their mind. Do I call in and ask when they will know? If I call in, will I look too desperate? Should I? Shouldn’t I? Why did I…?”

The signs of anxiety, disappointment and frustration were clearly visible on her face and in her body language.

At times like this, the feelings we experience can be excruciating, the thoughts that occur to us excessive, and the state we get ourselves into becomes wholly disproportionate to the actual event that triggered it in the first place.

“I am Creative. I am Resourceful. I am Whole…”

So, to help I thought I’d offer a few ‘pick and mix’ tips on how to deal with the uncomfortable emotional flooding and chaotic thoughts that accompany some of life’s inevitable setbacks.

  1. REMEMBER whenever you are feeling strong negative emotions: THIS TOO WILL PASS. Like a person struggling in turbulent, deep waters, don’t fight the current. If you struggle you are sure to get exhausted and drown. So instead, if you choose to relax your body and float, it is possible to allow the water to hold you up.

2. BREATHE: huge, deep, slow breaths. At least 10 times, to a the regular count of 5 or 6: 1st set: Breathe in 1-2-3-4-5-6. Breathe out 1-2-3-4-5-6 etc.  Place your hand on your heart. Imagine the negative energy leave your body with each out breath – let that tension go.

3. CLOSE YOUR EYES, and simply notice what is happening.  NOTICE your experience without judgement. Notice your emotions. Notice where the sensations occur in your body.

4. As you EXPERIENCE the emotions, EXPLORE them. Lean into them. Where do they come from? When did you feel like this before? What is coming to your mind? How are the emotions trying to help you? What are they telling you?

NAME and ACKNOWLEDGE the emotions, THANK them for trying to help you and LET THEM GO.

5. WRITE: express all your thoughts and feelings on paper, freestyle. Unburden. Stream of consciousness if you like.  

As you write, you unload, as you unload your mind starts to become more rational, practical and solution-focused.  Your inner wisdom and intuition will come through.

6. Or if PROBLEM-SOLVING ask yourself: What is bothering you? What did you want to happen? What had you been assuming? What are you learning from this situation? What options do you have? What will you choose to do, or think or say now? What is the best way forward for you in the circumstances? How can this be an opportunity?

7. TALK to someone supportive who will listen impartially, objectively, and who may provide a fresh perspective and help you to re-evaluate.  

8. REST DEEPLY. Meditate. Sleep on it. Allow your unconscious mind to work on the solution.  After any stress your body needs to recuperate.

9. When you are ready, and able to think calmly, consciously CHOOSE A PATH FORWARD and ACT (even if that means choosing to do nothing).

10. Finally, whatever is happening around you, whatever results you are getting, whatever you’re feeling in the moment, and in case you missed it, HOLD ONTO THIS THOUGHT:

I am Creative. I am Resourceful. I am Whole…

 

Let this this be your mantra… Let this be your mindset.

 

Do you need a supportive objective listener?

If stress and anxiety is becoming more like a way of life than popping up on the ‘odd bad day’, perhaps hiring an integrative coach would be the best way forward. 

I am offering a 30-45-minute Discovery Session as my gift to you.

There will be no obligation and no pressure – I promise.